Of Loss and Gain
by pococo
Summary: "There is no hope for me to live. But this child, our child, I will gladly give my life to protect him." Cyndia Potter-Crawford was dying due to being hit with the killing curse twice. Just because she was destined to die didn't mean her child had to as well. She could only hope her husband Pegasus would forgive her for hiding her illness from him. [fem!Harry/Pegasus]


He met her when they were both ten years old. His father was hosting yet another party and he had invited his friend who in turn invited the manager for his Las Vegas branch and his family.

She was there with them, messy black hair and bright wide green eyes hidden behind circular glasses. Her dress was obviously not new unlike his attire. She was looking around nervously hands clenched on her dress.

She was very pretty and he was smitten at once.

They had spent the whole night talking and he had shown her some of the games he had brought with him to occupy himself during the boring party.

She had latched onto them and enjoyed them telling him she had never played games like this before. Her bright green eyes sparkled in glee when she would sometimes win over him.

He didn't tell her he let her win.

At the end of the night her relatives collected her with a sneer on their faces apologizing for forcing him to entertain the 'brat' in their opinion.

Before she left he remembered he didn't get her name or tell her his.

"My name is Pegasus Crawford what is yours?"

Being dragged by her relatives she turned around and gave him a soft smile. "Cyndia Potter."

It wasn't the last time they would meet.

* * *

For the next year Pegasus would visit Cyndia's home. Unknowingly to him that he had forced Cyndia's relatives to give her an actual room and not the hot stuffy attic in their Las Vegas home.

When he visited they talked about anything and everything. He would bring along his Funny Rabbit comics and they would laugh at the antics in them. He very much loved art as well so he would sketch her all the time.

Cyndia soaked up the attention and soon loved Pegasus as well even if at that age it was only a small crush. She confided in Pegasus telling him things about her life she had never told anyone else and how no matter how many times she told people that her relatives, the Dursleys, hurt her in Great Britain nothing would come of it some of the people claiming she never told them in the first place.

Pegasus was concerned about the state of her life in the household and told her he could tell his dad but she shook her head.

"I don't want you to forget me…" She had told him quietly and he conceded and sighed, smiling at her gently before kissing her forehead.

But come Cyndia's 11th birthday she had found out about magic and how she was being forced to attend a boarding school in Scotland of all places! And she couldn't even tell Pegasus about it either.

When she told him she would be away most of the year he was sad but told her he would make sure to spend every day of every summer with her.

* * *

15 year old Cyndia Jasmine Potter sighed as she was examined by a Healer. The battle of Hogwarts had just occurred and she had died in battle and brought back to life. She knew there had to be some repercussions for that and so she had asked to see a healer about it.

What the Healer said saddened her greatly. Due to the magic in the killing curse, being hit with it twice and living both times she was slowly dying instead of dying suddenly.

She had broken down crying at that. Plans that had half formed in her mind for after the war shattered. And Pegasus, her love and best friend! If he found out.

She shuddered. Would Pegasus even love her anymore when he found out she was a dead woman walking? The healer told her at most she would have 3 years and to not do anything too strenuous. She promised and went to inform her friends.

* * *

Returning home to Las Vegas, because it was home despite the fact her relatives had moved back to Great Britain a year ago, was a sad and somber affair. Red surrounded her eyes as she made her way to Pegasus's family mansion and punched in the code for the gate that she was given many years ago.

Knocking on the tall front door she was greeted by a butler and taken to Pegasus's art room where she spotted many paintings of herself.

"Cyndia!" Pegasus exclaimed joyously rushing forward to embrace her warmly. "I have missed you."

"Pegasus." She reached around and hugged him back. She buried his head in his shoulder tightening her grip.

"Cyndia?"

"Just a little… let's just stay like this? Please?"

Pegasus frowned but agreed hugging her tighter himself.

* * *

"Marry me, Cyndia? And then we can stay together forever."

Her smile was a little strained knowing that she had less than two years left on this earth but she agreed none the less.

And so it was that 16 year old Cyndia Potter became Cyndia Crawford.

* * *

"Hermione. I'm getting married. I should be happy and looking forward to the event. But why? Why do I feel so guilty not telling my love that I don't have a lot of time left on this earth?"

Hermione had no answer for her best friend.

* * *

A couple months later found Cyndia finding out she was with child. She had blinked and then started to tear up. Many emotions welled up inside of her. Joy, worry, _despair_. Would her child survive? She knew if she went through with the pregnancy that there was a high chance of her dying in childbirth. And she knew she would have to tell her husband as well.

But first… She directed half the magic she maintained to keep herself alive to her child protecting him or her. Her child was priority number one.

Her husband found out about her illness when she was 6 months along in the pregnancy and coughing up blood. He was horrified when he found his wife like she was and when he asked what was wrong she started crying hugging him tightly sobbing into his shoulder.

"There is no hope for me to live. But this child, our child, I will gladly give my life to protect him."

Pegasus just still and then broke down crying alongside her.

"I love you." He told her. She looked up into his eyes.

"I love you too."

They stayed like that for another 30 minutes.

* * *

Pegasus stood in the room his wife had gave birth to their son in staring blankly at the cooling body of his love. Glancing down at his son looking so much like Cyndia already but with his silver hair. Blinking tears away he hugged his son close to him remembering the words she had uttered before she died.

"James Pegasus Crawford. James for my father… I love you… I am so sorry my love…."

* * *

Two years later found a 19 year old Pegasus leaving his young son with Cyndia's friends in England.

"So you're just going to abandon your son?!" Hermione screeched. Ron put a hand on her shoulder.

"No." Pegasus told them. "I'll be back… I just have to check something out if all goes well Cyndia…"

Ron frowned.

"You better be back. Your son needs you."

Pegasus nodded before putting his son in Hermione's arms. He turned around and started to walk away. Hopefully Egypt would get some results.

He needed to see his precious Cyndia at least once more. Just one more time…

* * *

' _To understand what I did you first need to learn the story of a girl named Cyndia…'_

* * *

5 years after leaving his son with his mother's friends Pegasus, now sporting an eye patch after Duelist Kingdom, walked up the drive to the Burrow, heart heavy as he made his way closer to his son hoping that he will forgive him for all the lost years.

Walking closer to the house he could see two boys outside playing what seemed to be Duel Monsters. And one of those boys? When the boy looked up when he sensed someone coming looked up bright green eyes blinking and silver hair fanned out around his face.

Pegasus couldn't help but smile.


End file.
